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The ugly indecency inside the blesser finder culture

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In recent months, South Africa has seen a spike in Blesserfinder and sugar daddy dating websites where blessers look for blessees and sugar daddies look for sugar babies. This has attracted attention from many sectors of our society, some of whom are condemning the phenomenon under the hashtag blessers must fall. On the other hand Blesser finder websites are in support of the phenomenon under the hashtag moral must fall. Some blesserfinder websites have taken it a notch higher by offering free membership to a blessee while offering premium membership to a blesser.

The minister of health, Hon. Aaron Motsoaledi also weighed in on the topic stating that blessers and sugar daddies alike are to blame for the increase of HIV/AIDS infections to young women, who are in this case the blessees and sugar babies. He definitely has a point because most young girls seeking blessers and sugar daddies are actually in financial dire straits and as such they would have no control of what happens in these dating arrangements. Since the older men dictate to them how sexual encounters must proceed. This has led to blessers and sugar daddies demanding unprotected sex and anal penetration because they are the ones paying for gifts and giving the young girls cash to spend.

The blesser and sugar daddy culture is eroding morals in South Africa and the powers that be must move to eliminate this growing indecent practice. But it is easier said than done because blessees are actually consenting adults in most cases and they should equally be blamed for it. Blesserfinder websites, where blessers and blessees meet, also got a helping hand from the media because very little was known about them until the media sort of gave them so much attention as most articles concerning the culture were not actually condemning the practice but rather advanced the cause and actually drawing a lot of attention to this new form of prostitution.

Blesserfinder websites are here to stay, so if the battle is to be won, we must first look at changing the mind set of prospective blessees and sugar babies. It would also be helpful if the economy moved in the right direction in terms of job creation as less women would find themselves in situations where they do not feel the pressure to find a blesser or sugar daddy just to get by in life. Older men will always prey on young women. This is an age old tradition that will not end. So perhaps the government needs to put in place decisive measure to criminalise the practice, then just maybe, we will see a reduction in the spread of HIV/AIDS and the demise of blesserfinder websites.

Greed also has a hand in the rise of this problem. There are several employed women who are also looking for sugar daddies. Their motivation to sign up to such websites is simply to have more of whatever they have and what they do not have as well. Hence they become blessees so that they can have their desires met by sugar daddies. Other women who do not need blessers are the ones in learning institutions. They are already poised for success but the hunger for cash and gifts drives them to become sugar babies, instead of concentrating on their studies so that the can provide for themselves after graduating.

Parents also need to play an active role in the way they bring up the girl child. As often said, charity begins at home, and if the girl child is not taught good morals at home they will certainly learn bad ones on the street and get entangled in the blesser and sugar daddy culture. This is not about the poor girl on the street or the prowling rich sugar daddy who is focussed on bedding as a many a sugar baby as his wallet can afford. It is everyone’s problem and concerted efforts must be churned out by everyone who cares in order for us to see positive changes. Blessers and blesserfinder websites must fall.